Cultivating a sacred and flourishing team
You know the small talk that occurs while waiting for all participants to join a conference call? Sometimes, I fill the space with a question that we go around the room asking people. It could be anything. Who was your childhood hero? What is your favorite ice cream? What was the highlight of your weekend? On one such call in 2015, I posed the question:
"If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?" We started to go around the call, and we were getting answers you would expect to hear: "Hawaii," "Australia," "The Swiss Alps," "Italy," and then we got to Mark. And the conversation went something like this:
Kim: "So Mark, if you could go anywhere right now where would you go?"
Mark: "Four Corners"
Kim: "WHAT?!?!?!?"
Mark: "Well, you know it's the place you can go and stand in four states at one time."
Kim: "I know what it is but that is an unbelievably horrible answer."
Mark: "Well don't you think it would be kinda cool."
Kim: "I've been there, compared to all of these places, it's not great. Bad Answer"
Mark: "Well, I uh, I still think it would be cool”
Kim: "Mark, you live 3 hours from Yosemite and have never been there. Thats tragic and it tells me everything I need to know, Four Corners-worst possible answer, especially when you live close to so many awesome national parks"
Before you jump all over me for failing to be kind, you should know that Mark and I have the best relationship. I was his leader before his friend, but we became close quickly. We have a brother-sister type bond, and he took my teasing as such.
That day, I told the team: I can't make any of your dreams come true except for Mark's. Mark, someday, I will take you to Four Corners. From that moment on, I teased Mark about Four Corners every chance I got. Everyone got a kick out of it, even Mark. I would remind him periodically that someday we would go to Four Corners.
Camaraderie. It's essential in a team. I often called my leadership team eclectic because we were all so different. No two people were alike. We had different hobbies, from beekeeping to woodwork to sports coach to chess, from bougie travel to overland camping. We came from different backgrounds, and our strengths were all over the board. They often say that leaders tend to hire employees who are just like them, but we were all wildly different. So, what led to our longevity and success? We shared a common purpose and deep respect for one another. Liking and enjoying those you work with is important; after all, one typically spends more time with the people they work with than with their family.
I figured out how to make good on my promise to Mark. Over a weekend, all of my direct reports piled into three vehicles and made the trek NorthEast from Phoenix on a four-hour drive up to Kayenta, Arizona, and then another hour east to Four Corners.
Twelve people with different temperaments, various lifestyles, multiple faith traditions, diverse upbringings, polarizing political views, and several stages of life all converged in a dry county in the Southwest desert. What brought us together was our shared purpose, shared values in how we treat our people and each other. We are FOR one another, we have a shared belief that work is sacred, and we love one another. Love, you say? Really? Yes, love. I can't tell you the number of times during that trip, and since that, I heard the word love come out of the mouth of a colleague about another colleague. I also see it in action; I see it in the way they check in with each other. I see and hear the way they support one another other. We cultivated the attributes of the Spirit of God in our work: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. While some are harder than others, living out these attributes or "fruit," as the Bible calls them, led to a flourishing team that not only worked with a laser focus on the mission but did so with a posture of goodness.
Besides keeping my word to Mark, the thing that was so special is that our team decided to lean in relationally with each other. When we left Four Corners, we spontaneously went on to Mesa Verde National Park. The next day, the entire group journeyed to Monument Valley and the Grand Canyon. It was literally like we took a vacation together; it was beautiful. It was joy-filled; I can't recall when I laughed as much as I did on those two days. It was a holy time for a group of colleagues, brothers and sisters. I am convinced that when people or institutions say that a work family is toxic, it's because they don't know how to do it. It's because they have been burned by poor leadership. It's because they don't know how to hold people accountable while still demonstrating love and kindness. It's failing to lean into the life-changing attributes of God in the workplace.
Learning to lean into these attributes leads to a fulfilling and sacred work experience for us and those who work with us. Imagine how your work environment would look if you, your leadership, and your colleagues fully embodied these characteristics:
Treated each other with a loving spirit, being FOR the other person more than an agenda. Translate this to better listening, seeing the whole person versus a myopic view of the job they do at work.
We're able to maintain joyfulness even when external circumstances or burnout would typically push you toward defeat.
Were peacemakers who bridged gaps, resolved conflicts, and worked to eliminate toxicity in the workplace. Say goodbye to pitting people against each other.
Exhibited patience first rather than playing the game of tyranny of the urgent or turning everything into an emergency. What if the culture changed to one that learned to wait well and adjust priorities?
Truly value kindness to others, even those who annoy you or have competing views.
Always believed in good intent and urged others into that thinking as well.
Exhibited gentleness rather than a quick propensity to anger.
Demonstrated Self Control in their actions resulting in a less reactive environment.
Colleagues who stayed faithful to the mission and each other. People who simply always do the right thing.
Cultivating a culture of sacredness is a gradual process. It's not a program that can be neatly rolled out but rather a continuous formative process that occurs daily, moment by moment. While standing at the Grand Canyon with my team, I pondered the extensive time it took for the Grand Canyon to develop. Later, I researched this; the National Park Foundation informs us that scientists aren't sure how old the Grand Canyon is. Until 2012, it was believed to be around 6 million years old. However, a recent discovery has led some scientists to speculate that the canyon originated from numerous smaller canyons over 70 million years ago. Over time, these smaller, individual canyons merged to create the majestic Grand Canyon we see and enjoy today. Similarly, each one of us individually contributes to shaping and molding the places we inhabit. We can opt to remain as separate canyons, focused solely on ourselves and our own agenda, or we can embody behaviors that bring goodness and beauty to those around us. The choice is ours.
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