tragedy close to home

A Tesla going over 100, teenagers without seatbelts, alcohol, two-thirty am, its a recipe for tragedy and that’s what happened last weekend in our community. A tragedy. Less than 1/2 a mile from our house said Tesla ran a red light and couldn’t make the turn in the road. It hit a curb, power poles and an empty building before throwing three occupants from the car. 3 dead, 3 injured ages 17-22. You can read or hear reports about the accident here and here.

Two of the surviving teenagers go to my daughter’s school, my alma mater. She knows them. It’s close, and this tragedy has been all-consuming for our community. As I have spoken with parents this week, we are all saying the same thing:

• We can’t imagine the overwhelming grief for the parents of these kids.

• It is a miracle three passengers survived the crash. We also can’t imagine the physical and emotional scars this will leave on them.

• We are holding our kids closer this week.

This affects my community but the suffering of tragedies is daily, everywhere. From Israel to Gaza, from Omaha to Iowa, from Glenview to Pasadena.

When tragedy strikes, what are we to do? Here are a few principles I have leaned on:

• Pray - The Bible tells us to pray continuously (1 Thessalonians 5:16). In times of tragedy, it can be hard to know what to pray. Romans 8:26 assures us when we don’t know what to pray, the Spirit will intercede for us. It says, ‘In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.‘

• Have an abundance of compassion. Nobody knows the level of despair that has enveloped these families over the last few days. Resist the urge to speculate, judge or use cliches like “everything happens for a reason.” Be present and compassionate while exercising humility. Colossians 3:12: says, ‘So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. ‘

• Grieve. As a society, we tend to push through grief rapidly. As Christians, we are grateful for a God that has conquered death, but when we lead with these words, we can unintentionally invalidate grief. Let us be wise, remembering we can have hope for resurrection and embrace grief at the same time. Acknowledge your grief and be present in the grief of others. Don’t diminish suffering or move past it too quickly. The Bible tells us to mourn with those who mourn.

• Take action to help. In this case, Go Fund Me accounts have been established to assist with funerals and recovery. These are the six Go Fund Me campaigns I am aware of:
  

• Expenses for all six victims and families

• Bella Ramirez recovery

• Emerson Newquist recovery

• Esrom Abraha funeral expenses including bringing his mother from Uganda

• Michael Pfeffier funeral expenses

• Samuel Mosa Family for funeral expenses and recovery
  

• Connect: Use this broken moment to have meaningful connections with your loved ones:

• Listen: let them know you are there for them

• Empathize: put yourself in their shoes and seek to understand where they are coming from

• Acknowledge emotions: recognize the complexity of emotions they must be feeling

• Develop strategies: Some tragedies can be prevented. If appropriate, discuss strategies for keeping oneself safe. 

• Share experiences: Share wisdom from life experiences. 

• Pray together: Take a moment to pray together.

Recommended Resources:

Book: Prayer in the Night

Book: It’s OK, that you’re not OK

Contemplative Prayer Podcast: Exhale Prayer: Grief (John)

Contemplative Prayer Podcast: Exhale Prayer: Grief (Lamentations)

Articles on Grief and Loss: Aubrey Sampson, Pastor